Tag Archive for: change

March Madness: Shaking up Your Life

March Madness is here. No, I’m not talking about the NCAA tournament; I’m talking about cabin fever, the deep longing for spring, the burning desire to feel the sun’s warmth as we enjoy long walks outside without fear of slipping on the ice and breaking a bone. Mother Nature dealt Minnesota and much of the U.S. a winter fit for the history books, which has made many of us (even those of us who “love” winter) feel like we’ve come down with more than a mild case of madness. 

March is also my birthday month. March Madness indeed. People close to me know I tend to go somewhat crazy with birthday festivities, but this year I’m approaching the month more intentionally than past years. I’m being extra choosy about where I spend my time, energy, and money. I’m sure I’ll enjoy a few glasses of wine over various birthday excursions, and I’ll likely indulge in a substantial piece of flourless chocolate torte with raspberry sauce and hopefully a few fresh mint leaves (not that I’ve given it much thought, of course), but aside from those indulgences I’ve decided this year’s March Madness is dedicated to pushing me forward and closer to the best version of myself I can be.

After all, the best way to honor the gift of another year of life would be to honor and take excellent care of this life and body I have now.

So I scheduled a few 1-on-1 strength training appointments in addition to my group sessions at Discover Strength since staying strong as I age is paramount. I also booked a couple bodywork sessions to reward myself for my planned extra physical activity. I’ve already had a fun night out dancing with a friend, and I have another March dance date on the calendar because dancing makes my soul swell in a tsunami of joy.

My whole point in sharing all this is to stir up a little curiosity in you: what could you do for yourself this month that would be extra loving? Real self-love and self-care is about giving our body, mind, and spirit what it needs. What could you commit to for a month? What would make your soul swell in a tsunami of joy? A month is simultaneously a manageable AND significant amount of time in which to make powerful changes. Don’t hesitate. Just go for it. Be brave and shake up your life a little.

 

Love,

The Birthday Girl

Kaizen

A couple years ago a precious little book called The Kaizen Way by Robert Maurer, Ph.D. found it’s way into my hands. A client had read the book years ago and decided to revisit it when she began her health coaching program. One day she brought it to our session together and offered to loan it to me.

 

I’m so glad she did. I loved it.

 

Kaizen: The definition of this Japanese word can be summed up with the well-known saying by Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu, “A journey of a thousand miles must begin with the first step.”

 

In other words, kaizen is about taking small steps for continual improvement.

 

Kaizen is relevant to anyone wanting to change something in his or her life, whether that change involves one’s health, relationships, attitude, or skills, to name a few. Unlike dramatic change, which involves taking a jumbo leap to achieve massive results quickly, kaizen is a warm, generous, and subtle approach to change, giving the change-maker permission to take steps so small that, frankly, there are times we feel we are doing nothing at all. The funny thing is, according to Maurer, our chances of success are greatest when the steps are smallest.

 

In order for this to make sense, he spends a significant amount of time explaining the brain and our body’s fight-or-flight response. A quick recap of the fascinating science he presents goes like this: all change, even positive changes, are scary. The fear of change is rooted in the brain’s physiology, and this is why most people fail when they strive for goals that are too radical. We heighten the brain’s fear response, triggering a structure in the midbrain called the amygdala, which is responsible for controlling the fight-or-flight response. You likely already know that the fight-or-flight response is a life-saving response that shuts down rational thinking (among other functions) and sends the body directly into action. Make no mistake, the fight-or-flight response has immense value, but it can also be troublesome, setting off alarm bells unnecessarily when we want to depart from our usual, safe routines. This can prevent creativity, change, and success from unfolding, making us feel stuck and weak.

 

The stealth solutions of kaizen allow your brain to tiptoe past the alarm bells, wandering around the fear toward small, achievable goals. To be clear, when we refer to really small steps, we’re talking about steps that can feel trivial, like:

 

  • flossing a single tooth each night
  • marching in front of the TV for 30 second intervals during commercial breaks
  • thinking one positive thought about a challenging colleague each day
  • complimenting one’s spouse each week
  • cleaning one piece of paper off of a cluttered desk or one file out of an overflowing file cabinet
  • putting a new food on your grocery list

 

He even gives the example of a patient who’s kaizen step involved simply standing on a treadmill everyday for several weeks without even turning the treadmill on! This was the most helpful kaizen step she could take toward regular exercise. I can relate to this. As somebody who still floats in and out of exercising consistently, there are certainly days when I count just getting down onto my yoga mat a success.

 

When we’re making change happen at a level this subtle, we’re flying below our brain’s fight-or-flight radar. Alarm bells in the amygdala stay quiet, and the process of change can snowball, however slowly it’s meant to grow. New neural pathways are built in the brain from doing activities slightly differently, and our mind quietly develop a desire for this new behavior, whether it’s regular exercise, a new way of eating, or spending time with a more loving group of friends.

 

Maurer includes a powerful quote from John Wooden, a successful college basketball coach, “When you improve a little each day, eventually big things occur. Not tomorrow, not the next day, but eventually a big gain is made. Don’t look for the big, quick improvement. Seek the small improvement one day at a time. That’s the only way it happens – and when it happens, it lasts.”

 

Small steps build lasting change. I learned the same approach in nutrition school, except we used the analogy that building health is like climbing a ladder. If you are committed to climbing the ladder one rung at a time, you will eventually and undoubtedly reach the top. If you try to take too many rungs at once, it is almost certain you will slip and fall. When the change is too big to sustain, even people with admirable levels of discipline and willpower lose enthusiasm, peter out, and “fail.” This failure can be devastating, and the motivation to begin again is lost.

 

I realize many of the changes I ask people to make over time are huge, life-altering moves that are often neither easy nor convenient at first. For instance, when I educate my clients about the value (or necessity, in many cases) of going gluten-free, I understand this is going to change not only what they prepare and eat at home but also what they can eat at restaurants and parties and how friendships may change. This is scary and overwhelming, and it’s almost certainly going to trigger that fear-happy amygdala. So it’s no wonder many clients will go gluten-free for a week, or even a month, and then resort to old patterns and ways of eating. Frankly, it might be inevitable. So what could we do differently, knowing what we now know about kaizen?

 

First of all, be compassionate with yourself. Pick up the book and learn about the brain so you can recognize what’s at play in that noodle of yours. Then rather than beating yourself up next time a “slip” happens, you’ll be able to recognize your fight-or-flight response kicking in. Your next step involves figuring out a teeny, tiny action you can take to tiptoe past that fear response. Small, valuable successes happen this way frequently. A client whom I feel could benefit from homemade chicken broth buys the whole chicken, sticks it in her freezer, then waits a month to prepare the broth. Somebody needs to start moving his body, so he begins by simply buying new shoes. Perfect. Nobody said the changes had to happen overnight.

 

As encouragement, Maurer offers this reminder, “While the steps may be small, what we’re reaching for is not. To commit your life to honoring and maintaining your physical health; to the passion, the risk, and the excellence of a demanding career; to the pursuit of a rewarding relationship with another human being; or the continual upward revision of your personal standards, is to strive for powerful goals, often elusive and at times frightening. But for now, all you need to do is take one small step.”

Do you ever want a do-over?

Ah, sweet September. It’s hard to believe school buses are back in action, Labor Day has passed, and summer is a memory already.

Can I ask, did you rock your summer as hard as I did? You did? Awesome.

And now are you as wiped-out and off-kilter as I am? You are? I’m glad I’m not alone. Perhaps we can find our way back to our best selves together.

As many of you know, I’m a proud Minnesotan – born and raised in this beautiful state – and if there’s one thing Minnesotans know how to do it’s how to play hard and soak up every minute of our precious summers. June, July, and August were spent enjoying some seriously awesome trips to the cabin, concerts that left me hoarse, the gluttonous Minnesota State Fair (twice!), vineyard/winery visits, long hours lost in my gardens, patio dinners with friends, mushroom foraging in the deep woods, kayaking, and on and on and on.

And of course much of this fun was accompanied by JUNK FOOD, alcohol, late nights, short nights, and little sense of routine many weeks. There was no holding back for this girl. Confession: BOTH of my state fair outings included cheese curds. After those babies I had a beer (or maybe two). Talk about walking on the wild side.

I sure hope you played as hard as me this summer, and if you did it’s probably safe to assume you’re just a bit more BLOATED, heavy, and TIRED than your best self right about now, just like me. If so, you may want to check out the cleanse I’m co-facilitating with my friend Suzy from Defining You Pilates and Fitness in October. Click on this link to explore the 30-Day Fall Cleanse: The Whole Life 360 Experience.)

I love summer, but its brevity often pushes us to go gangbusters and overdo it. If your overdo has left you needing a “do-over,” read on. Autumn is ripe with possibilities for renewal, reflection, and fresh starts, so let’s kickstart some self-love again and get back to the disciplines that help us be our best.

My Top 3 Tips for a Fresh Start

  1. Decide on a single small step missing from your routine and begin with that single small step.

Identify ONE thing you’ve let go of in your life/routine that makes you feel strong and robust, and bring it back. I’m the biggest believer ever that small tweaks are the ticket to long-lasting positive change. I sincerely wish I had a dollar for every time someone tried explaining to me in all earnestness, “But Claudine! I’m an all-or-nothing person! I can’t just change one thing!”

Yes, I know. We all want to wave a magic wand and have four dozen changes stick at once. Who doesn’t? But life, and your mind, and others around you don’t work that way.

Pick. One. Thing.

Do you need to get back to the gym and start moving your body again? Back-to-school means back-to-the-gym for a lot of us.

Are you eating a protein-rich breakfast within an hour of waking up? Routines tend to slip away in summer. It can be surprising to realize that something that was once automatic has vanished.

Are you going to bed later than your body likes? We might be able to scrape by on fewer hours of sleep and rely on solar power during the long days of summer, but it will catch up with us. Allow your body to rest.

So what is the fresh start your body/mind/spirit needs/misses right now? Trust your gut’s answer. No step is too small. Tiny changes will build confidence and energy and will yield surprising results if done consistently.

2. Change something in your environment. It sounds bizarre, but studies show that changes in one’s environment can promote fresh starts or new habits by up to 36%. Isn’t that astonishing?

I believe changing our environment is effective because it’s a pattern interrupt. It helps knock us out of auto-pilot and into a mind-space of being more intentional. Whether you decide to clean out the pantry, rearrange your office, declutter a closet, or display a new piece of art that lights you up, changing our environment clears out old energy and opens our eyes to possibility again.

I have a great story of how this worked for me.

For over a year I had the simple goal of meditating for 10 minutes each morning, which doesn’t seem like it should be that hard, but I just could not get into a rhythm with it. I was finally successful when I cleared a corner of the bedroom and designated that particular space for my sitting meditation. It sounds so simple it’s almost embarrassing to share, but I know I’m not alone. Simple solutions are often staring us in the face.

3. Remember Now is Now.

Humans are a complex breed. We love to believe past experiences and patterns or old beliefs of ourselves are the truth, when the truth is really that we are changing in every moment – as is everything around us.

It can be tempting to fall back into nasty old beliefs that we are perpetual failures and nothing is ever going to change for us every time we eat some sugar or skip the gym. We also like to think we can predict our future based on the chocolate croissant and two cups of coffee we just had. Heck, we could defeat ourselves by 7am each day if we’re not careful.

Every moment is a new moment. Now is now, and you are recreating yourself all the time. Become aware of the stories and beliefs that surface that tell you who you are or aren’t. Acknowledge these stories and beliefs, but don’t give them any power. Just say hello to them, then let them pass through you, like a cool breeze on its way to the next town. They are likely very old voices that got stuck and don’t know a doggone thing about what you are up to these days.

Learning to recognize these voices, like an old friend who’s not actually a very good friend anymore, will be an important step in building new habits. Now is now. Not the past. Not the future.

Let me end by saying that – without a doubt – filling our lives with things that bring us joy may quite possibly be the best thing we can do for our health – cheese curds, beer, short nights, and all – but there usually comes a time when we’ve overdone it and we need to turn over a new leaf. Autumn is that time. Keep me posted on how you find your way back home.

Love, Claudine